Secret Revealed

Today the secret was revealed. I had a knock on my door after coming home from church. But instead of finding just one family revealing that they were our secret Santa I found a whole group of people. About four adults and too many children to count from all different families in my church were standing at my door. As they sung "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" and gave us our last piece to the Nativity (baby Jesus) I of course started to cry. I was just shocked to realized that it was such a big group of people wanting to bring such joy to me and my girls. After they were done singing I had kids saying things like "I knocked the first night" or "I was the one that gave you the candy" etc. Those children are just so sweet and seeing all their smiling faces at my door was so uplifting. As I thanked them over and over again they all started asking Eva for hugs goodbye and I again just felt so thankful for all these loving people in my life. And to those wonderful parents for teaching their children and mine what the Christmas season is really all about. I feel that they have helped fulfill my grown up Christmas list this year.

And then I cried, and cried and cried.

Just a few hours ago I heard a knock at my door. I opened it to find a small bag on my door step with Merry Christmas written in crayon on the front. I took the package in and thought, "oh how sweet someone dropped off some cookies." But when I reached in the bag I pulled out this

As soon as I held this I realized that someone has decided to do the "The 12 days of Christmas" or "Secret Santa" for my family. And I immediately began to cry. For one I was over come with gratitude that someone would think of my little family and want to do this for us. And two it made me realize that I guess during this time when Greg is gone we do need these little uplifting moments more than ever. I have already cried about three different times sense this package was delivered but they are tears of joy. To know that there is a family who thought of me and my girls and wanted to do this for us is just so touching to me. I feel so blessed to have support from so many people while Greg is gone.
Along with the stable there were three candy canes in the bag and this paper with #1 written on it and this scripture.
Luke 2:1-3
1. And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.
2. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)
3. And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
So for those of you who have never heard of this basically we will get a gift each day for 12 days with another scripture telling the story of Jesus birth. Of course when I explained this to Eva she got very excited and can't wait for another mysterious knock on our door. I am just so thankful for whoever has decided to do such a sweet thing for me and my family. It means more to me than they will probably ever know.

What do you do when your hubby is on leave?

What do you do when your hubby has four days of leave? You drop the kids off at Grandma's and get on a plane to New Orleans! Once you get off the plane you hug and kiss your hubby like there's no tomorrow. Then you get to stay in a fancy hotel.


The next day you take a walk down Bourbon street and because it's so crazy there you feel that even at the age of 27 you're still not old enough to see all you saw.


After the initial shock you go on a haunted tour of the French Quarter and see lots of cool old buildings and even get a picture with an orb which is that spot of light that many think are spirits.


You also walk around and see all these beautiful buildings everywhere.



The only tough thing is that you are pregnant and so tired that one day you end up taking a 3 hour nap instead of a 20 minute catnap like you said. But luckily you have a hubby who is so sweet he's happy to let you rest and just lays next to you and watches movies while you sleep.
And once you're up you go back out and try some of that New Orleans food like the yummy beignets.


But after all that fun time together you realize it has to end and you find yourself back at the airport saying those goodbyes all over again. But at least you had those few nights together.....a little bit of a boost before the long stretch and you feel that your love for one another is just as strong as ever.


Although it was hard to leave you are ready to get back to those sweet girls you left behind.

And they love their new souvenirs.

Deployment

Well it's finally that time....deployment has begun. I have to say that I am actually feeling some relief today. The past few days leading up to him leaving have been really hard for me. It was like I had anxiety, sadness and guilt all mixed together. I had anxiety over going to the airport and having to actually say goodbye. I was sad for my girls and the fact that we will miss him so much and I had guilt that I needed to make his time with us perfect, but I wasn't doing a good enough job. Like I constantly had the thought, "this could be the last time he gets to eat this or watch this or do this with you and the girls." It was an awful feeling. So yesterday my stomach was just in knots. When we finally got to the airport it was better, I think I just needed to get there. I don't know why that made a difference but it did. The army reserved a hanger so we could visit inside or out on the runway before take off. Here is Greg with his Brothers and sister.






We were all pretty happy until they announced we had 10 minutes before they had to board the plane. Everyone said their final goodbyes and cried a little but we all stayed pretty composed. Thankfully.




They look so happy for saying goodbye :)



This was the only moment that I cried. I knew that breaking down just wasn't something I wanted to do or felt that it would help in anyway so I wipe away those stupid tears and gave Greg one last kiss before he headed off to the plane. I feel that we are on the verge of a whole new experience and if anyone can do it's our family. I am too strong willed to let this get me down. And I am just so proud of Greg. I know he will do his job well and what a great day it will be when he comes back to me.

Going Away Party

This past Friday we had a going away party for Greg. He leaves this Saturday for 3 weeks for training. Comes home for a week and then he leaves for deployment. So this was the best time to get a party in before he is gone. We just had a small get together with Greg's closest family and friends but even with hosting a low key party I still found myself stressing out about decorations, food and hoping people would come. But like always it turned out just fine and it touched me to see everyone there to support Greg.

These are the tables I decorated.



The Army has a program called the flat daddy. Basically you send in a picture of your soldier to a partisipating store and they will make a life size cut out of them from the waist up for free. It is suppose to help small children remember their daddy while they are gone. I really wanted to have ours for the party. Luckly it was ready that day. Everyone got a kick out of it.

Layla and Eva loved it. Layla just loves to kiss her flat Daddy.


Other than that everyone just visited and we had dinner and a cake.




A few people got Greg gifts. I had a calender made for him with pictures of me and the girls so he can see us all the time :)

It was really nice to have so many people there to support Greg.





He will be greatly missed.

Life is Good

Today is the 4th of July and I wish I had something really profound to say about our Country, our freedom or our troops but I don't. I mean Yes I'm so thankful for the Country I live in, my freedom and for all the men and woman that do so very much to keep it that way but that is how I feel everyday. And although I don't have anything else really great to say about that subject I did have my own little enlightenment the other day. So as Greg's deployment gets closer and closer I have gone through many different feelings. First I was more in denial....that he would never really have to go. That they would start pulling everyone out right before it was Greg's turn. Once I realized that wasn't happening I went through a state of worry....about him, me and the girls. I also was sad. Sad to think of all he will miss while he is gone and how much the girls will change in a whole years time. Then I absolutely hate to admit this but I started to get angry at him. And I actually started to feel like I should pull away from him in order to make things easier on myself when he is gone. But thankfully I have pushed those thoughts out of my head and lately I have just felt a little numb about it all. Not really worrying, sad or angry just.....nothing. Then yesterday and even more today I had the most wonderful feeling and thoughts come over me. I am excited! Excited for Greg to go and have such an amazing experience. Excited to hurry up and get this all started and excited at what a wonderful homecoming it will be when he returns. I feel that I am a well rounded, organized, independent person and I can do this. I am so pumped! Even as I write this now my heart is pounding with excitement for my new take on all of this, and as funny as it sounds the phrase"BRING IT ON!" just keeps entering my mind. I was totally and completely cut out for this. The life of a an Army Wife is my calling. I want to do this and do it well. I feel so blessed and my life is so good and so wonderful. I love where I live, all my friends and family and my great ward. I have so much to be thankful for and I feel like I am just where I am supposed to be. I feel that I am almost on a high right now and yes it may go away in a few days and I may go back to feeling a different way but not today....not right now. I just had to write this all down so I will remember the way I feel today. Life is good. I am happy and everything will be not just OK but WONDERFUL!

To all you Army Wives

Today one of those ads popped up on the side of my Facebook page and it was a site for personalized T-shirts. I went on it and they have a Army wife section. I found a ton that I liked and I am going to get one or two but I wanted to post my top 20 favorite sayings. Some are sweet and some are funny and of course they look so much cuter on the shirt with pretty fonts and colors but you can still get the idea.

1. You don't know stress until you've been an army wife

2. Army wives are bad ass

3. Army wives are like diamonds...brilliant & tough

4. Sexually deprived for your freedom

5. Not all women are created equal..some become army wives

6. Military wives have what it takes...and then some

7. There is no love like a soldier and his wife. Army love. Army Strong.

8. You think you know...but you have no idea

9. I'd rather be the widow of a hero than a wife of a coward

10. I married my Hero

11. My soldier rocks his dog tags

12. This girl is army strong

13. It's just an army kind of love...you probably couldn't handle it

14. Army wives do it better

15. If you love your freedom thank my soldier

16. You don't know stress until you've been an army wife

17. I can handle anything! (I'm an army wife)

18. He got deployed so I got this shirt

19. Half of my heart in in Iraq

20. Distance makes the heart grow stronger

So those are my favorites. If you would like to see more the site is www.cafepress.com

On Memorial Day.....

On a day like today I am filled with pride. I love Greg and I'm so proud of him for the sacrifice he and so many others have made. Freedom is a wonderful thing. And I wish I could wear this shirt everyday so everywhere I went everyone would know just how much I care :)

I missed him more than I realized

Greg just got home today from training. He is tired from being up for 4 days straight during the 10 days he was gone and he needs a shower, but I still gave him a big hug and had him snuggle with me on the couch for a little while. While in his arms I thought about how when he was gone I felt like I was fine but being with him now makes me realize how much I love and missed him. And the thought of him leaving in Sept. weighs heavily on my heart. I just keep thing,"A whole year? That is just too long." But again I remind myself to enjoy this time now. I'm so glad he is home and I love that we get to have dinner tonight as a family.

My Husband, My Hero

Some days I just sit back and think, "I can't believe I'm the wife of a soldier." I mean that kind of life style is for other Moms I see, but not me. You know the ones that are always moving from place to place with a smile on their face and popping out kids while their husbands are deployed like it's no big deal? I guess when I married Greg the thought of him joining the army never even crossed my mind. I remember when he first told me years ago that he was thinking of joining the National Guard, I was shocked. I mean my little farm boy husband? A soldier? I just couldn't even picture it. But I remember feeling comforted that he was joining the reserves and was going to get his degree so he could become an Officer. I figured by the time he was done with all of that the war would be over. Ha! Boy was I wrong! Now we have what? About 3 months before he is deployed. Man how little I knew. But even though he will be missed and I worry for his safety I can not even begin to explain how proud I am of him and All the joy I have felt over the years. The army has truly been a blessing in our lives and I want to be that strong wife for him. My husband is a great man and I love him so. He is a hero in my eyes and I am so thankful for the life we live and the freedom we have because of the choice he and so many others made to protect all of us.

The Girls Miss Daddy

I decided to start a new blog apart from my family one devoted to my thoughts and feelings on being the wife of a soldier. I don't really know if anyone will read this or ever care to comment and that is fine. I just want to document this time in my life for myself. My husband is being deployed to Iraq this September for our first time. We have two little girls ages 3 and 1 and I am a stay at home mom. To be honest most days I am completely fine. But yesterday was hard. Greg is gone right now for 10 days doing training....always training. And Eva my 3 year old is really have a difficult time. She asks for him a lot and the past few nights she cries in her bed saying, "I miss my Daddy." It is heartbreaking. More so because I know that in September I can't tell her he will be home next week. I know once he is gone she will get used to it but it's hard. It really is difficult to see my little ones miss their Dad and know that to them a year means nothing. That concept of time just doesn't apply for them. Layla my one year old seems fine but she had been waking up really early and is more clingy than normal which again makes me think it's her own little way of showing she misses Greg.
And as for me? I'm fine, or so that's what I keep telling myself. I have also had a hard time sleeping. I can't fall asleep unless I leave the T.V. on and even then I toss and turn for hours. Last night I think I fell asleep by 1. But when Layla wakes up at 6:30 that doesn't give me much of a good nights rest. I get board during the day but the worst is dinner time. I find it hard to sit down at the table with the girls. It's just too sad and lonely trying to make conversation with a 3 year old when I have already been with her all day. So I stand at the counter and unload the dishwasher or do something to keep me busy. Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed at the thought of having to do this for a whole year. I just keep pushing the thought out of my head. I guess we just need to get through this next week and then Daddy will be back....for now.