Sunday, July 4, 2010

Life is Good

Today is the 4th of July and I wish I had something really profound to say about our Country, our freedom or our troops but I don't. I mean Yes I'm so thankful for the Country I live in, my freedom and for all the men and woman that do so very much to keep it that way but that is how I feel everyday. And although I don't have anything else really great to say about that subject I did have my own little enlightenment the other day. So as Greg's deployment gets closer and closer I have gone through many different feelings. First I was more in denial....that he would never really have to go. That they would start pulling everyone out right before it was Greg's turn. Once I realized that wasn't happening I went through a state of worry....about him, me and the girls. I also was sad. Sad to think of all he will miss while he is gone and how much the girls will change in a whole years time. Then I absolutely hate to admit this but I started to get angry at him. And I actually started to feel like I should pull away from him in order to make things easier on myself when he is gone. But thankfully I have pushed those thoughts out of my head and lately I have just felt a little numb about it all. Not really worrying, sad or angry just.....nothing. Then yesterday and even more today I had the most wonderful feeling and thoughts come over me. I am excited! Excited for Greg to go and have such an amazing experience. Excited to hurry up and get this all started and excited at what a wonderful homecoming it will be when he returns. I feel that I am a well rounded, organized, independent person and I can do this. I am so pumped! Even as I write this now my heart is pounding with excitement for my new take on all of this, and as funny as it sounds the phrase"BRING IT ON!" just keeps entering my mind. I was totally and completely cut out for this. The life of a an Army Wife is my calling. I want to do this and do it well. I feel so blessed and my life is so good and so wonderful. I love where I live, all my friends and family and my great ward. I have so much to be thankful for and I feel like I am just where I am supposed to be. I feel that I am almost on a high right now and yes it may go away in a few days and I may go back to feeling a different way but not today....not right now. I just had to write this all down so I will remember the way I feel today. Life is good. I am happy and everything will be not just OK but WONDERFUL!