I decided to start a new blog apart from my family one devoted to my thoughts and feelings on being the wife of a soldier. I don't really know if anyone will read this or ever care to comment and that is fine. I just want to document this time in my life for myself. My husband is being deployed to Iraq this September for our first time. We have two little girls ages 3 and 1 and I am a stay at home mom. To be honest most days I am completely fine. But yesterday was hard. Greg is gone right now for 10 days doing training....always training. And Eva my 3 year old is really have a difficult time. She asks for him a lot and the past few nights she cries in her bed saying, "I miss my Daddy." It is heartbreaking. More so because I know that in September I can't tell her he will be home next week. I know once he is gone she will get used to it but it's hard. It really is difficult to see my little ones miss their Dad and know that to them a year means nothing. That concept of time just doesn't apply for them. Layla my one year old seems fine but she had been waking up really early and is more clingy than normal which again makes me think it's her own little way of showing she misses Greg.
And as for me? I'm fine, or so that's what I keep telling myself. I have also had a hard time sleeping. I can't fall asleep unless I leave the T.V. on and even then I toss and turn for hours. Last night I think I fell asleep by 1. But when Layla wakes up at 6:30 that doesn't give me much of a good nights rest. I get board during the day but the worst is dinner time. I find it hard to sit down at the table with the girls. It's just too sad and lonely trying to make conversation with a 3 year old when I have already been with her all day. So I stand at the counter and unload the dishwasher or do something to keep me busy. Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed at the thought of having to do this for a whole year. I just keep pushing the thought out of my head. I guess we just need to get through this next week and then Daddy will be back....for now.
1 comment:
Andi, I love this blog. I think blogging is not only theraputic for the writer, but it helps us all also. I am so torn by how I feel about the war overseas and reading your story makes it all the more real to me, and emotional. I think people need to know how hard it is on our families. We all need to pray harder for peace so our soldiers can be safe and come back home. I will be praying for Greg and your sweet family. The world needs to know about the life your family leads so that someday things can be diffrent. I really believe with all my heart that Heavenly Father is in control, and the the United States of America is good, in spite of all that is wrong with our country, it is still a nation under God. ANd that things are happening the way they should. But I will continue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. And even though I can guarantee I will probably cry every time I read this blog for one reason or another, I need to read it. And every American needs to be aware of these sacrifices families like yours make. I think it is important to have a place to put your feelings instead of keeping them all inside. And I know that this year will just be a memory for Eva. She will foget how hard it was and when Greg comes back, she will barely remember the hard times. If anyone can do it, you can. You are Supergirl too!
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