I decided to start a new blog apart from my family one devoted to my thoughts and feelings on being the wife of a soldier. I don't really know if anyone will read this or ever care to comment and that is fine. I just want to document this time in my life for myself. My husband is being deployed to Iraq this September for our first time. We have two little girls ages 3 and 1 and I am a stay at home mom. To be honest most days I am completely fine. But yesterday was hard. Greg is gone right now for 10 days doing training....always training. And Eva my 3 year old is really have a difficult time. She asks for him a lot and the past few nights she cries in her bed saying, "I miss my Daddy." It is heartbreaking. More so because I know that in September I can't tell her he will be home next week. I know once he is gone she will get used to it but it's hard. It really is difficult to see my little ones miss their Dad and know that to them a year means nothing. That concept of time just doesn't apply for them. Layla my one year old seems fine but she had been waking up really early and is more clingy than normal which again makes me think it's her own little way of showing she misses Greg.
And as for me? I'm fine, or so that's what I keep telling myself. I have also had a hard time sleeping. I can't fall asleep unless I leave the T.V. on and even then I toss and turn for hours. Last night I think I fell asleep by 1. But when Layla wakes up at 6:30 that doesn't give me much of a good nights rest. I get board during the day but the worst is dinner time. I find it hard to sit down at the table with the girls. It's just too sad and lonely trying to make conversation with a 3 year old when I have already been with her all day. So I stand at the counter and unload the dishwasher or do something to keep me busy. Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed at the thought of having to do this for a whole year. I just keep pushing the thought out of my head. I guess we just need to get through this next week and then Daddy will be back....for now.